Monday, January 2, 2012

the scandal of breastfeeding (in public)

Disclaimer:  a post about breastfeeding.  This post may contain words such as breast and boob, and may be slightly more explicit and candid than my other posts.  If that offends you, don't read it.  If you choose to read and are still offended, I don't care (you chose to read it) ;).

Recently, a breastfeeding mother had to feed her child in public.  Being in the middle of a Target trip, she decided to find a corner of the store to sit in to nurse.  I'm not sure how long she had been there, but she was asked by management to find a room or private place to nurse her child.  (I guess sitting down in the corner of the store wasn't private enough.)

If you have the time, this satire related to the event is hilarious.

Here are my thoughts on the "breastfeeding in public" debate.  I usually stick to things a little more platonic here at "musings of a bean," but I just can't be quiet on this one.  Perhaps because it hits close to home for me.

*gasp!* Roscoe is almost 11 months old and I'm still breastfeeding him?!?!  Yes.  Do I get skepticism and advice from people on that?  Yes.  (Which I find odd.... I mean, he's a baby...)  My favorite was the advice from the man who said (right after Roscoe was born) that I should nurse him for 3 months and then switch to formula.  (But because this post is more directly related to the recent "scandal" of the woman breastfeeding in public, I won't go into the difference between breastmilk and formula.  Look it up (or click the links).)  Do I have plans to wean Roscoe because he's "getting to old" for this?  No.

I am nursing Roscoe still for a few reasons.  The primary reason is that I want him to have breastmilk as the primary part of his nutrition for at least the 1st year of his life.  The nutrients found in breast milk are so vital for a baby's brain development.  And it builds a heck of an immune system.  I am also mindful of the fact that all of the "minor inconveniences" of breastfeeding (the skepticism from others, nursing in public, being "tied" to a baby, nursing bras, teething, etc.) are not important or powerful enough to force me or coerce me to stop.  Thirdly, it's a bond.  There's no one else on the earth that can have the bond that I have with Roscoe in this respect.  Not to mention it's earned.  I puked every day for the first trimester of carrying him, had heartburn and pains, and went through a grueling 23 hours of back labor trying to get him out into the world.  And now I want to enjoy a "nursing bond" with him?  You're darn right I do.  And when Mark has to go on a 7 week trip at the end of this month for the military, this momma is going to want to be nursing her baby for comfort, whether he's ready to be weaned or not.

Now, I still nurse.  Generally speaking I like to view that as my business.  And even though my views about it are pretty strong, I don't flaunt it.  But until Roscoe was about 7 months old, I had no problems nursing in public, with a blanket draped over his head.  I never made it a point to flash anyone, and if that happened, it was pure accident.  But once he hit 7 months, he became almost impossible to nurse decently.  A blanket over his head?  Forget it.  Not to mention that he gets distracted.  So I just find it easiest to choose a room to nurse him in by myself.  If I'm in a room of just females, I will nurse publicly with no problems.  But I really do try to be mindful of the men.  However, if my son were to need to nurse and I couldn't accommodate any other way than just nursing him then and there, I would hope the men/people who felt uncomfortable would be decent enough to leave or just not stare.

But let's talk about the fact that there are dozens of women YOU probably see EVERY day who are sexually showing off their breasts with extremely revealing outfits.  Where's the outcry about that?  Even if a mother is trying to discreetly nurse her child in the corner of a store, and accidentally flashes someone because she can't keep her wriggly child contained under a blanket, why is that so much worse than the girls walking around with both boobs hanging out of their clothes?  Are we really such a twisted culture that we view breastfeeding as an alternative use of a sexual body part?

Why does it seem so hard for our culture to accept the multi-functional purposes of breasts?  God made them that way.  Yes, sexually, but for so much more than that.  He designed them to give nourishment to children.  So much nourishment that those children can live the first months of their life solely on breastmilk.  He designed a lot of our body parts to multi-task.  For example, lips.  You use your lips to eat, talk, kiss, smile, etc.

I just find it frustrating because I would probably have been just as uncomfortable or upset by a breastfeeding mother "flashing me" until I was given Roscoe.  I wish I had learned more about it before experiencing it.  Before the criticism, the "when are you going to stop nursing him?" questions, the stares, the whispers.  We need to teach our children and culture that breastfeeding mothers (almost all of them) aren't trying to be in-your-face about what they're doing.  Well, except for the "Nurse-In" at Target following this incident.  That was kind of in-your-face, but they asked for it.  I think what a lot of us mothers want is more support for the fact that we're doing what is natural and best for our children.  If it makes you uncomfortable that this "sexual" body part is being used in such a "natural" way, then you need to reexamine your view of the female body.

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