This Sunday Roscoe will be one month old. Already. Are you kidding me?! Now I know why people keep having babies! That first month is so precious; the newbornness of a newborn wears off too fast! It lasts just long enough to make you wish you had longer, so you have more babies.
No, I'm not pregnant. No, I don't want to become pregnant soon. Shame on you for thinking that.
But this first month has not been without frustration and anxiety. We have yet to get Roscoe to the pediatrician (hopefully that will happen within the next week for a 1 month check-up), so the "diagnosis" of colic comes only from other people. And it's funny, "colic" is such an abstract and elusive word.
My baby cries inconsolably for long periods of time.
Oh! Must be colic.
What's colic?
Oh, you know. Your baby cries a lot and gets mad and nothing quiets him but maybe running the hairdryer or vacuum or something weird like that.
. . . . . . . *cricket, cricket*. . . . . .
I'm the kind of girl who wants definitions. I want reasons and explanations and clear-cut descriptions. It doesn't matter if it's easy to swallow or not. Just tell me. I was like that even when in labor. Elizabeth hated giving me bad news. Oh, I'm just 2 cm and have been in labor for 9 hours? That's fine. At least it's clear-cut. This whole colic thing isn't at all like that.
A friend who recently struggled through months with a colicy baby suggested I buy colic calm, a homeopathic gripe water. As I was looking through the website I came across an explanation for what may be going on in these babies. And it gave me sympathy for Roscoe. Apparently, a baby's immature gut is prone to not just gas in the stomach, but also in the intestines. And it can't handle it. Gas just gets trapped and continues to build up pressure causing great discomfort. So burping a baby may help, but it isn't going to get all those bubbles out.
So we'll see if it helps. It's just hard on multiple levels to deal with a screaming baby. There's the side of me that wants to make everything better for him. That side doesn't want to put him down because maybe I am being of a little comfort, rather than putting him in a cold cradle to let him cry it out on his own. But then there's the side that gets angry at the fact that HE gets angry. I'll be rocking him, singing to him, walking him, and he'll reach up in rage and grab a fistful of my hair and scratch me. Ok, kid. Mommy is trying to calm you down and you let your temper fly. CALM. DOWN. So then I'm worked up and stressed and put him into said cold cradle and go outside to stand on the cold porch. There I am, frustrated, as my poor gassy child screams his head off alone in the cradle.
Where's the balance?
Yesterday was rough. The only time period I can think of that wasn't was when Mom and Dad brought dinner by. (Thanks again, by the way!) However, Roscoe had been fussy all day so he was probably too worn out to stay awake. I fed him and instantly he fell asleep. But once he woke up from that, he was at it again. At least it was during the day. He wore himself out so much that he slept for 8 hours last night! Holy cow! I almost feel guilty for getting that much sleep at once.
Oh, wait. Hold on....... No, no I don't. Feeling passed.
I have been there Ann Marie. It is so hard and it is frustrating that no one can give you a clear cut answer and that there really is no remedy other than time. I think you are doing the right thing though. Roscoe won't remember that you put him down and let him cry and I say if that's what you need to do to keep your sanity then by all means...do it! I'm going to bring you a couple things that worked for me and hopefully they will help you as well.
ReplyDeleteHi! This is Sarah, Joel's wife. Just sympathizing with you because Hannah was colicky. In my study at the time I found there may be three causes of colic: gas, acid reflux (also called GERD), or milk protein allergy. I think the gas is the hardest to conclusively diagnose. For that I hear most people use Mylecon, although it never seemed to help Hannah much. The acid reflux the doctor could somewhat diagnose depending on how/when the baby cried. For example, Hannah would be nursing fine then suddenly start screaming and need to burp but couldn't because she was so worked up. After having heartburn in pregnancy, it is hard to blame her! We gave her some medication (prevacid) that helped, we think, or else she just grew out of it. That whole epidsode was around 3-5 months. Then the milk protein allergy the doctor actually diagnosed because they found blood in her stool. For that I stopped eating dairy for about 3 months so I could continue to nurse her. That part was from 1-4 months. Everybody seems to have their experience and solution! For us here are some things that helped: swaddling very tight, holding in the football position and bouncing and patting her to sleep, gripe water, and running the electric hand mixer. I clearly remember spending lots of days and nights sitting on the couch with her and a book! But we survived and thankfully I didn't have any other kids to watch after at the time. Hope you find some answers and some things that help soon! I know you're in desperate need of relief!
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