Every Sunday night as I sit around a firepit with friends I get this overwhelming feeling that I need to blog on the importance of community and what it means to me personally. But now I've let too many days go by and those warm, fuzzy feelings are more difficult to put into words. Actually, my lack of words is probably due to the fact that I've had another one of those battle days with Roscoe. He has slept for 35 minutes today. That was one nap. The rest was spent either eating, playing, or (the majority of it) crying. Exhausting.
Anyway, I'm not posting to complain, so here's a quote that is referenced every now and then at church. It's the quote that pretty much sums up how I came to break down the walls to my heart and realize the importance of transparency with others.
"We are not hurt alone, and we will not heal alone. Yes, God is individually transforming our hearts, but not in isolation. We are like stones that are part of a wall (1 Peter 2:5), organs that are part of a body (1 Corinthians 12:12), or members who are part of a family (Romans 8:15-17). Our sin contaminates others, and our change helps to heal others. We need the humility that is fostered in group transparency in order to receive the energy (grace- James 4:6) to continue changing. Even the person who seems to have it all together needs the trouble of those who don't, so he is not living his life in a self-absorbed delusion. As someone has said, the disturbed need the comfortable, and the comfortable need the disturbed."
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
what makes me smile
....Well, lots of things. But right now, Mark sits across the room from me with Roscoe, who, having decided not to take a nap after he last ate, is somewhat fussy. But Mark's talking to him and telling him stories and playing with him to distract him from the fact that he's fussy. (That was a lot of "him"s in one sentence.)
Mark's had to work a lot in the past month. A lot. As in, 13-14 hour days 7 days a week. He came home before 7 tonight and HE HAS TOMORROW OFF!!!!! It's so much fun to watch my 2 favorite guys together. Can't wait to spend the day with both of them tomorrow.
And here you have it, Mark coaching Roscoe through how to get rid of his hiccups.
God is a giver of very good gifts. I'm so thankful for my guys.
Mark's had to work a lot in the past month. A lot. As in, 13-14 hour days 7 days a week. He came home before 7 tonight and HE HAS TOMORROW OFF!!!!! It's so much fun to watch my 2 favorite guys together. Can't wait to spend the day with both of them tomorrow.
And here you have it, Mark coaching Roscoe through how to get rid of his hiccups.
God is a giver of very good gifts. I'm so thankful for my guys.
time with mark's family
The little dude will be waking up any moment to eat, and I'm determined to get these pictures up (since I've been trying for 2 days now). If it's going to happen, it has to be now, or else I'll forget.
Thursday evening we had dinner with Mark's family. His parents were happy because their other 2 grandsons were in town, so they got to get their hands on all 3 at once for the first time. I was shocked at how good the picture turned out. How often can you get a 2 year old, an 11 month old, and a 5 1/2 week old together for a successful picture?! Not often according to what I've seen...
Ok, well the kids aren't exactly looking at the camera, but my expectations aren't that high. At least none of them are crying!
That's one happy grandma! (We still need to work on Roscoe's smile for the camera, but I'm not putting too much pressure on him...yet)
Granny getting some Roscoe lovin'
This is more like what I expect a shot with 3 little ones age 2 and under to look like. I'm sure someone else got a better one with Granny and Papa and the boys, right?
I took so many picture of this little cutie patootie. But rather than put them all up, I'll just post my favorite. I could eat this little guy to pieces!
Thursday evening we had dinner with Mark's family. His parents were happy because their other 2 grandsons were in town, so they got to get their hands on all 3 at once for the first time. I was shocked at how good the picture turned out. How often can you get a 2 year old, an 11 month old, and a 5 1/2 week old together for a successful picture?! Not often according to what I've seen...
Ok, well the kids aren't exactly looking at the camera, but my expectations aren't that high. At least none of them are crying!
That's one happy grandma! (We still need to work on Roscoe's smile for the camera, but I'm not putting too much pressure on him...yet)
Granny getting some Roscoe lovin'
This is more like what I expect a shot with 3 little ones age 2 and under to look like. I'm sure someone else got a better one with Granny and Papa and the boys, right?
I took so many picture of this little cutie patootie. But rather than put them all up, I'll just post my favorite. I could eat this little guy to pieces!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
if you'd just go to sleep
Poor baby, as I sit here in the living room my child cries in the next room fighting sleep. He's sooooo sleepy. For the past 3 days he's just been a little fussy butt. There are times of happiness and smiles (gifts of grace from God to help during the fussy times), but then he realizes he's tired and the crying starts. Sometimes the 5 Ss work, sometimes they don't. Gas drops, colic calm, running the hairdryer or vacuum, taking him for a ride in the car or stroller.....whatever the remedy may be, sometimes it's just destined to be a matter of letting him exhaust himself. This may be the reason he sleeps so well at night. Night before last I had to wake him up to feed him. I would've let him sleep, but, well.... I needed relief. Any of you mothers who have ever nursed a baby know exactly the relief I'm talking about.
I've been given lots of advice, and for that I am extremely thankful. But one of the best pieces of advice is "No matter what the books or people say, you know your baby. Trust your instincts." I think that's so helpful because, honestly, have you seen all the advice out there on parenting?! For every piece of advice, there's another that directly contradicts it. For example "Your baby needs love and care and attention. When he cries, hold him." vs "Your baby can't control your life and schedule. Let him cry it out. He'll be fine." So for me and Roscoe, do you think the first or second piece of advice works better? The answer is yes.
I don't believe I'm spoiling my child one bit by holding him. In fact, I believe that if I don't cherish this time that I have to cuddle and love on my infant son, I will regret it when he's older. Looking at it from the infant standpoint, he spent 24/7 in the womb the whole time he was developing. No wonder he wants comfort now!!! There was never a time when he DIDN'T have it then. 5 weeks past birth, and he's still trying to get used to life outside of a non-stop climate controlled, swaddled, never-get-hungry environment! If my love and comfort can help him adjust to that, I've got plenty to give.
However, I do understand that if there are things that I have to do, or if I just need a break from the deafening screams, my child will live if he has to cry himself to sleep in the cradle. I carried him for 9 months without the ability to put him down, and I remember multiple times when I thought Can I just lay you down for a minute while I do this? Well, by the way God designed it, now I can. So I'll take advantage of it.
Funny thing is how quickly he can change from this......
......to this
Little buddy, if you'd just go to sleep, you'd feel a lot better.
I've been given lots of advice, and for that I am extremely thankful. But one of the best pieces of advice is "No matter what the books or people say, you know your baby. Trust your instincts." I think that's so helpful because, honestly, have you seen all the advice out there on parenting?! For every piece of advice, there's another that directly contradicts it. For example "Your baby needs love and care and attention. When he cries, hold him." vs "Your baby can't control your life and schedule. Let him cry it out. He'll be fine." So for me and Roscoe, do you think the first or second piece of advice works better? The answer is yes.
I don't believe I'm spoiling my child one bit by holding him. In fact, I believe that if I don't cherish this time that I have to cuddle and love on my infant son, I will regret it when he's older. Looking at it from the infant standpoint, he spent 24/7 in the womb the whole time he was developing. No wonder he wants comfort now!!! There was never a time when he DIDN'T have it then. 5 weeks past birth, and he's still trying to get used to life outside of a non-stop climate controlled, swaddled, never-get-hungry environment! If my love and comfort can help him adjust to that, I've got plenty to give.
However, I do understand that if there are things that I have to do, or if I just need a break from the deafening screams, my child will live if he has to cry himself to sleep in the cradle. I carried him for 9 months without the ability to put him down, and I remember multiple times when I thought Can I just lay you down for a minute while I do this? Well, by the way God designed it, now I can. So I'll take advantage of it.
Funny thing is how quickly he can change from this......
......to this
Little buddy, if you'd just go to sleep, you'd feel a lot better.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
weekend trip
My parents and I took off Friday afternoon for a quick trip to Greeneville, TN to see Mark, Candy, Lily, and the new little star Micaiah. Of course we took Roscoe. I doubted the dogs ability to properly babysit. It was beautiful weather so they held fort outside.
As a new mother I'd love to think that my baby would cooperate the entire time. I mean who wouldn't want a baby that would just sleep for the entire 3 hour car ride, peacefully wake up, patiently wait to eat, etc..... Not so, Roscoe. His screams can wake the dead when he's mad and hungry. So, as we anticipated, we had to stop about 45 minutes away from Mark and Candy's so I could feed Roscoe. Oh, for the day when we can say "No, son, we'll be there soon. We'll eat when we get there." (By the way, funny how 45 minutes to me now means "be there soon." I can remember as a child when being 5 minutes away from the nearest Burger King felt like ETERNITY.)
So while I sat in the front seat and nursed Roscoe, Dad took the opportunity to take a nap on the tailgate in the sun. (Insert here that my Dad is the most patient and easy-going man I know. It is my goal get my temper-prone son to try to mimic his Papa.)
We arrived and there was no shortage of cuteness to pass around. Here you have 2 newborns separated by 12 days, and a 23 month old little girl who is so cute you can hardly stand it. Seriously, who needs TV?! (I say that, but we all had laptops, ipods, and other forms of technology out almost the whole time. Well, all of us but Candy. She's the best at actually socializing and not focusing on technology when you're in a group of people.)
Here's a sweet picture of Lily playing with some hand-me-down dishes from cousins Liam and Gilly. Lily loved her dishes. She played with them the entire weekend. The best was watching her with Nana and Papa. They cooked all sorts of things together.
Something I discovered that made my day: Roscoe loved Micaiah's bouncy seat!
Look at that goofy guy... He would just kick and smile and look in the mirror and focus on the rattle. The best part? Candy said this is the cheapest WalMart bouncy seat. Ha! My child doesn't have expensive taste! Yes!!!!!!!!!!! By the way, Mom Grant, he's almost too big for the monkey outfit you bought him. I think this is one of the last times he'll wear those little monkey feet pants. :(
He just cracks me up with his expressions. And he looks like he's losing his hair! He already looked like an old man, now he has a receding hairline.
A few more pictures from the trip:
Mom wanted a picture with both of the babies. But it seemed one of them was always crying. But babies don't always cooperate, so we decided to do it anyway, even though Roscoe wasn't pleasant at the time.
Love it. Screaming Roscoe. Chillin Micaiah.
A close up of the anger. Work it, kid!
And sweet sleeping Micaiah.
Here's dad with Roscoe (L) and Micaiah (R). It's hard to tell from this picture but Micaiah wasn't happy at all.
This picture was taken after Roscoe had been already been screaming for at least 20 minutes. I decided to put him in the wrap and go walking around outside. It took a few minutes, but it did work.
I like this one of dad trying to comfort him :)
What a rough life babies have. If only we understood. Here I am trying to empathize.
It was definitely different taking a trip with a 5 week old. I did make it out of the house with only 1 overnight bag, in addition to the diaper bag and my purse (of course). For the first overnight trip I was quite proud of myself. I guess it's easy though with a newborn since I didn't have to take any toys to entertain him.
I do regret not having gotten a picture of Candy and me with our babies. Somehow that one got overlooked. Guess that means they're going to have to come to SC to visit soon. (Right, guys?)
As a new mother I'd love to think that my baby would cooperate the entire time. I mean who wouldn't want a baby that would just sleep for the entire 3 hour car ride, peacefully wake up, patiently wait to eat, etc..... Not so, Roscoe. His screams can wake the dead when he's mad and hungry. So, as we anticipated, we had to stop about 45 minutes away from Mark and Candy's so I could feed Roscoe. Oh, for the day when we can say "No, son, we'll be there soon. We'll eat when we get there." (By the way, funny how 45 minutes to me now means "be there soon." I can remember as a child when being 5 minutes away from the nearest Burger King felt like ETERNITY.)
We arrived and there was no shortage of cuteness to pass around. Here you have 2 newborns separated by 12 days, and a 23 month old little girl who is so cute you can hardly stand it. Seriously, who needs TV?! (I say that, but we all had laptops, ipods, and other forms of technology out almost the whole time. Well, all of us but Candy. She's the best at actually socializing and not focusing on technology when you're in a group of people.)
Here's a sweet picture of Lily playing with some hand-me-down dishes from cousins Liam and Gilly. Lily loved her dishes. She played with them the entire weekend. The best was watching her with Nana and Papa. They cooked all sorts of things together.
Something I discovered that made my day: Roscoe loved Micaiah's bouncy seat!
Look at that goofy guy... He would just kick and smile and look in the mirror and focus on the rattle. The best part? Candy said this is the cheapest WalMart bouncy seat. Ha! My child doesn't have expensive taste! Yes!!!!!!!!!!! By the way, Mom Grant, he's almost too big for the monkey outfit you bought him. I think this is one of the last times he'll wear those little monkey feet pants. :(
He just cracks me up with his expressions. And he looks like he's losing his hair! He already looked like an old man, now he has a receding hairline.
A few more pictures from the trip:
Mom wanted a picture with both of the babies. But it seemed one of them was always crying. But babies don't always cooperate, so we decided to do it anyway, even though Roscoe wasn't pleasant at the time.
Love it. Screaming Roscoe. Chillin Micaiah.
A close up of the anger. Work it, kid!
And sweet sleeping Micaiah.
Here's dad with Roscoe (L) and Micaiah (R). It's hard to tell from this picture but Micaiah wasn't happy at all.
This picture was taken after Roscoe had been already been screaming for at least 20 minutes. I decided to put him in the wrap and go walking around outside. It took a few minutes, but it did work.
I like this one of dad trying to comfort him :)
What a rough life babies have. If only we understood. Here I am trying to empathize.
It was definitely different taking a trip with a 5 week old. I did make it out of the house with only 1 overnight bag, in addition to the diaper bag and my purse (of course). For the first overnight trip I was quite proud of myself. I guess it's easy though with a newborn since I didn't have to take any toys to entertain him.
I do regret not having gotten a picture of Candy and me with our babies. Somehow that one got overlooked. Guess that means they're going to have to come to SC to visit soon. (Right, guys?)
Friday, March 11, 2011
a little on colic
This Sunday Roscoe will be one month old. Already. Are you kidding me?! Now I know why people keep having babies! That first month is so precious; the newbornness of a newborn wears off too fast! It lasts just long enough to make you wish you had longer, so you have more babies.
No, I'm not pregnant. No, I don't want to become pregnant soon. Shame on you for thinking that.
But this first month has not been without frustration and anxiety. We have yet to get Roscoe to the pediatrician (hopefully that will happen within the next week for a 1 month check-up), so the "diagnosis" of colic comes only from other people. And it's funny, "colic" is such an abstract and elusive word.
My baby cries inconsolably for long periods of time.
Oh! Must be colic.
What's colic?
Oh, you know. Your baby cries a lot and gets mad and nothing quiets him but maybe running the hairdryer or vacuum or something weird like that.
. . . . . . . *cricket, cricket*. . . . . .
I'm the kind of girl who wants definitions. I want reasons and explanations and clear-cut descriptions. It doesn't matter if it's easy to swallow or not. Just tell me. I was like that even when in labor. Elizabeth hated giving me bad news. Oh, I'm just 2 cm and have been in labor for 9 hours? That's fine. At least it's clear-cut. This whole colic thing isn't at all like that.
A friend who recently struggled through months with a colicy baby suggested I buy colic calm, a homeopathic gripe water. As I was looking through the website I came across an explanation for what may be going on in these babies. And it gave me sympathy for Roscoe. Apparently, a baby's immature gut is prone to not just gas in the stomach, but also in the intestines. And it can't handle it. Gas just gets trapped and continues to build up pressure causing great discomfort. So burping a baby may help, but it isn't going to get all those bubbles out.
So we'll see if it helps. It's just hard on multiple levels to deal with a screaming baby. There's the side of me that wants to make everything better for him. That side doesn't want to put him down because maybe I am being of a little comfort, rather than putting him in a cold cradle to let him cry it out on his own. But then there's the side that gets angry at the fact that HE gets angry. I'll be rocking him, singing to him, walking him, and he'll reach up in rage and grab a fistful of my hair and scratch me. Ok, kid. Mommy is trying to calm you down and you let your temper fly. CALM. DOWN. So then I'm worked up and stressed and put him into said cold cradle and go outside to stand on the cold porch. There I am, frustrated, as my poor gassy child screams his head off alone in the cradle.
Where's the balance?
Yesterday was rough. The only time period I can think of that wasn't was when Mom and Dad brought dinner by. (Thanks again, by the way!) However, Roscoe had been fussy all day so he was probably too worn out to stay awake. I fed him and instantly he fell asleep. But once he woke up from that, he was at it again. At least it was during the day. He wore himself out so much that he slept for 8 hours last night! Holy cow! I almost feel guilty for getting that much sleep at once.
Oh, wait. Hold on....... No, no I don't. Feeling passed.
No, I'm not pregnant. No, I don't want to become pregnant soon. Shame on you for thinking that.
But this first month has not been without frustration and anxiety. We have yet to get Roscoe to the pediatrician (hopefully that will happen within the next week for a 1 month check-up), so the "diagnosis" of colic comes only from other people. And it's funny, "colic" is such an abstract and elusive word.
My baby cries inconsolably for long periods of time.
Oh! Must be colic.
What's colic?
Oh, you know. Your baby cries a lot and gets mad and nothing quiets him but maybe running the hairdryer or vacuum or something weird like that.
. . . . . . . *cricket, cricket*. . . . . .
I'm the kind of girl who wants definitions. I want reasons and explanations and clear-cut descriptions. It doesn't matter if it's easy to swallow or not. Just tell me. I was like that even when in labor. Elizabeth hated giving me bad news. Oh, I'm just 2 cm and have been in labor for 9 hours? That's fine. At least it's clear-cut. This whole colic thing isn't at all like that.
A friend who recently struggled through months with a colicy baby suggested I buy colic calm, a homeopathic gripe water. As I was looking through the website I came across an explanation for what may be going on in these babies. And it gave me sympathy for Roscoe. Apparently, a baby's immature gut is prone to not just gas in the stomach, but also in the intestines. And it can't handle it. Gas just gets trapped and continues to build up pressure causing great discomfort. So burping a baby may help, but it isn't going to get all those bubbles out.
So we'll see if it helps. It's just hard on multiple levels to deal with a screaming baby. There's the side of me that wants to make everything better for him. That side doesn't want to put him down because maybe I am being of a little comfort, rather than putting him in a cold cradle to let him cry it out on his own. But then there's the side that gets angry at the fact that HE gets angry. I'll be rocking him, singing to him, walking him, and he'll reach up in rage and grab a fistful of my hair and scratch me. Ok, kid. Mommy is trying to calm you down and you let your temper fly. CALM. DOWN. So then I'm worked up and stressed and put him into said cold cradle and go outside to stand on the cold porch. There I am, frustrated, as my poor gassy child screams his head off alone in the cradle.
Where's the balance?
Yesterday was rough. The only time period I can think of that wasn't was when Mom and Dad brought dinner by. (Thanks again, by the way!) However, Roscoe had been fussy all day so he was probably too worn out to stay awake. I fed him and instantly he fell asleep. But once he woke up from that, he was at it again. At least it was during the day. He wore himself out so much that he slept for 8 hours last night! Holy cow! I almost feel guilty for getting that much sleep at once.
Oh, wait. Hold on....... No, no I don't. Feeling passed.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
between the cries
You'd think that not working and being at home all day just tending to a baby would leave plenty of time to update a dinky little blog. But from where I sit I see a pile of clean laundry to fold, dirty burp cloths thrown on the floor, spit-up covered baby jackets decorating the coffee table, and some lonely nail polish that was no doubt intended to be put to good use before it was interrupted by a hungry baby's cry.
How in the world can a 24 hour time period be consumed by nothing more than focusing on the needs of a 15 day old child?! I remember when I was driving 45 minutes one way to school, taking 18 credit hours, while simultaneously working 40 hours a week and planning a wedding. And now an infant keeps me from getting the dishes washed?
I'm not complaining. I am enjoying letting the housework sit. I've been told by more people than I can count to enjoy Roscoe while he's this little. So I don't feel guilty that our house looks like a war zone in less than an hour after Mark cleans it up.
I guess I'm just trying to let you in on why I haven't had time to pick up the laptop to update you all on my life. Because usually I'm too busy holding and feeding a very hungry baby boy, or soothing his cries, or trying to get him to burp out his little gas bubbles, or just holding and staring at him because he's infinitely more intriguing and entertaining than any form of technology.
How in the world can a 24 hour time period be consumed by nothing more than focusing on the needs of a 15 day old child?! I remember when I was driving 45 minutes one way to school, taking 18 credit hours, while simultaneously working 40 hours a week and planning a wedding. And now an infant keeps me from getting the dishes washed?
I'm not complaining. I am enjoying letting the housework sit. I've been told by more people than I can count to enjoy Roscoe while he's this little. So I don't feel guilty that our house looks like a war zone in less than an hour after Mark cleans it up.
I guess I'm just trying to let you in on why I haven't had time to pick up the laptop to update you all on my life. Because usually I'm too busy holding and feeding a very hungry baby boy, or soothing his cries, or trying to get him to burp out his little gas bubbles, or just holding and staring at him because he's infinitely more intriguing and entertaining than any form of technology.
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