With that last post and the shut-down of my facebook, I made it appear as if I'd be blogging every day, keeping everyone up to date on the daily pictures of Roscoe and all the exciting tidbits of our days together.
Welllll, at the moment it's not that exciting. I stay busy with little things throughout the day and making time to blog takes effort. When there's not much exciting going on, I find blogging difficult and resultingly unnecessary. The day through my eyes goes something like: wake up, feed, change, play, nap, feed, change, clean, nap, feed, errands, change, nap, cook, feed, put to bed.
I find it ironic that I used to be the first to defend the mother who was feeling like she didn't have an important job/contribution. Of course you do!!! Are you kidding?! You've got the most important AND most challenging job in the world! Fast forward a decade or so and I would have never guessed that I should have been preaching to myself.
Please don't misunderstand, I love our little Roscoe Porter more than my feeble words can communicate. I just never expected to struggle on a daily basis with the mundane-ness of stay-at-home-motherhood. But I'm not delirious enough to think that this struggle will get easier once I can communicate with Roscoe (I've got friends and family ahead of me as proof that that's not true!) However, the day in/day out caring for a baby who can't live without my help definitely doesn't FEEL like anything important. I keep reminding myself that this everyday life is missional, kingdom work. But I feel things so deeply, throw myself so fully into everything I do, that I want the important things to FEEL like they're important. So if I don't get that vibe, the struggle begins.
This is why I'm thankful that our faith is not based on our feelings. They're so misleading and fickle. Still training myself daily to place my hope and identity in Christ. But that's soooo much easier said than done.
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