what i wasn't prepared for

There were a lot of physical things about motherhood that I felt well-prepared for when Roscoe was born.  What the woman's body goes through during pregnancy, labor/delivery, post-partum, what to expect when nursing a baby, etc.  I spent hours and hours researching those things.  I didn't go through any post-partum depression or anything, and for the most part, really tried my best to enjoy the transition.

But one thing I wasn't at all prepared for--and really didn't even give a passing thought to--was what it was going to be like being "grounded."

A month or 2 ago I figured up that in the first 6 months of the year, Mark had been gone for a total of 3 months.  All of those trips were spaced out and for military training of one form or another.  That wasn't always easy, but it was definitely do-able.  Now he's planning to take a trip up to Maine in October.  This is a good thing.  It's for pure enjoyment.  After months (literally) with only 3 days off (that I can remember), it'll be good for him to step away from all forms of work and relax at his family's camp.

But (with the disclaimer that I in no way begrudge him this time), I can't help but be extremely jealous and slightly whiny at the fact that he gets to take a trip by himself.  That whiny side of me says "but you're aaaaaalways gone.  Can't it be my turn?"  But it hit me when we were discussing the logistics of the trip that I can't do what he's doing.  Even if I wanted to right now, I can't just step away from life and take a trip by myself.  There's a baby who's still dependent on me primarily for nourishment.  And he's pretty attached, too. 

That's when I start thinking through what I do.  Pretty much every day, wake up, take care of Roscoe, let the dogs out and feed them, start the load of diapers, tend to Roscoe a little more, tell the dogs to stop fighting, put Roscoe down for a nap, put the dogs outside, go hang the diapers outside to dry, wash dishes, wash laundry, clean the house, feed and tend to Roscoe again, get everything in order for dinner, play with Roscoe a little, put him down for an afternoon nap....... blah blah blah.  The list goes on.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying "staying at home with Roscoe is a drag and I wish we hadn't had him."  But I most definitely wasn't prepared for the utter mundane-ness of being at home the same way every day.  If there are no groceries to buy or if there's no convenient time for a walk in the park, then I don't even get to see anything interesting... like a traffic jam.  Yes, something most people find annoying would probably entertain me a little.

My head knows to look for the gospel in every situation, but sometimes it's hard for to me speak it to myself in the midst of my own situation.  It's as if (at least in my mind) motherhood is best represented by a coin.  There's the side with all the joys and excitement, but also the side that represents confinement.  You can't just pick one, it's all wrapped up in the same package.

I was talking to Beth about this the other day, telling her that it's something I haven't felt prepared for in being a mother.  And she told me you can't really prepare yourself for it.  It's just something you deal with when you get to it.  I'm sure that's like a lot of things in parenting.  Each stage brings its own joys and heartaches.  I guess that's all part of the excitement of the journey.

For now I'm going to try to look at the whole picture, and remember that this one season of my life isn't representative of the whole.

this just in: walnuts are illegal drugs

I had to pop on here very quickly to share a link to an article from a friend.  My motivation behind it is predominantly anger, because of the relationship between the FDA and the big pharmacy industry.  Since "big pharma" funds the FDA millions of dollars a year to keep them afloat (I've read figures at a minimum of 300 million), it's no wonder our food industry is so messed up, and consequently our health as Americans.  After all, if the FDA can put "heart healthy" on a box of 100-calorie Oreos, then after years and years of our eating all those partially hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup, we'll definitely be needing some medicines.

OR, we could opt for eating raw, natural foods, and be healthier for it.  But that's too difficult, isn't it?

Anyway, the link.  http://www.foodrenegade.com/did-know-walnuts-illegal-drugs/

Please take the time to read it, if nothing else than to just be more educated.  I'm not asking everyone to immediately stop shopping where they're shopping (even though that'd be great!), I at least want everyone to be more aware.  Maybe in the long run that awareness will lead to action.

Buy local foods, support local farms, grow your own garden, and don't just accept what you hear from the FDA as true.  Contrary to popular belief, they're not out to protect us.

on poop

I think about this blog often.  I enjoy writing, but honestly feel like my days are limited to thoughts on poop, spit, and the occasional nap.  When I'm not communicating with a baby, I'm usually cleaning the house, washing laundry, doing the cloth diaper thing, etc.

I don't really feel starved for community.  We've got some awesome friends, among whom are other mothers going through the same mundane thing every day.  I just desire to come up with something worth "musing" over.  But now I feel limited to just updating on Roscoe.  That's what my life is right now (not to be confused with "that's my identity."  Ah!!!  There's a post!).

So with that in mind, a little on poop:

Roscoe recently started eating solids.  And by solids, I mean solid. food.  Not smushed up, pureed, already chewed stuff.  He had been showing an interest in mine and Mark's food for about a week.  After a while I would give him something when he reached for it.  The confused look on his face when he realized that he wasn't receiving liquid in his mouth was priceless.  But he immediately took to it and has been enjoying eating with us.  It's not a religious thing yet, he still primarily breastfeeds.  But what he decides to eat in the way of solids is up to him.  It's fun to watch him discover foods, and healthy ones at that!!

But with the solid food comes the solid poop.  I've made a promise to myself to not take the breastmilk poop for granted with the next child (especially with the cloth diapering)!  Without going into too much description of this topic, let me just say it's a lot less hassle, and it doesn't stink!  But this morning alone, I've already changed 3 diapers.  Of those 3 diapers, 3 of them have consisted of poop.  Stinky, brick-like poop.  Life would be a lot easier if I had more than 10 cloth diapers.  Currently taking donations for the cloth diaper fund.

6 months

Sorry it's a day late....

Roscoe is now 6 months old!  Something about this month is extra celebratory for me, just because it's half a year.  Double the time that he has been breathing our oxygen and he'll be 1 year old.  Little buddy getting so big....

What's he up to?
- finger chewing, gnawing on anything he can get his hands on
- increased fascination with the dogs (which sherman LOVES)
- rolling over like crazy, scootching around (so much so that it doesn't matter how you lay him down to sleep anymore.  He moves as soon as your hands are off of him)... but not yet crawling
- becoming more interested in whatever we're doing (he loves watching me cook, watering the garden and flower beds with Mark...)
- growing even taller.  I already had to bump up the height of the exersaucer for him.  He was only in the shortest setting for a couple weeks
- playful.  Just very excitedly count "One..... Two!........ THREE!!......." and he'll break out into a smile before you even toss him into the air.  He loves that number 3!
- reaching for people, with big open wide-stretched arms
- becoming very interested in what we eat.  The other night we sat him at the table with us and gave him a slice of potato to gnaw on.  He loved it, but didn't really ingest much.  He'll get the hang of it soon enough, on his time.
- loves books





Eliot and Roscoe (10 months apart)

goofy face



start 'em young!

this was at 5 months old, i just couldn't resist adding it