what i wasn't prepared for

There were a lot of physical things about motherhood that I felt well-prepared for when Roscoe was born.  What the woman's body goes through during pregnancy, labor/delivery, post-partum, what to expect when nursing a baby, etc.  I spent hours and hours researching those things.  I didn't go through any post-partum depression or anything, and for the most part, really tried my best to enjoy the transition.

But one thing I wasn't at all prepared for--and really didn't even give a passing thought to--was what it was going to be like being "grounded."

A month or 2 ago I figured up that in the first 6 months of the year, Mark had been gone for a total of 3 months.  All of those trips were spaced out and for military training of one form or another.  That wasn't always easy, but it was definitely do-able.  Now he's planning to take a trip up to Maine in October.  This is a good thing.  It's for pure enjoyment.  After months (literally) with only 3 days off (that I can remember), it'll be good for him to step away from all forms of work and relax at his family's camp.

But (with the disclaimer that I in no way begrudge him this time), I can't help but be extremely jealous and slightly whiny at the fact that he gets to take a trip by himself.  That whiny side of me says "but you're aaaaaalways gone.  Can't it be my turn?"  But it hit me when we were discussing the logistics of the trip that I can't do what he's doing.  Even if I wanted to right now, I can't just step away from life and take a trip by myself.  There's a baby who's still dependent on me primarily for nourishment.  And he's pretty attached, too. 

That's when I start thinking through what I do.  Pretty much every day, wake up, take care of Roscoe, let the dogs out and feed them, start the load of diapers, tend to Roscoe a little more, tell the dogs to stop fighting, put Roscoe down for a nap, put the dogs outside, go hang the diapers outside to dry, wash dishes, wash laundry, clean the house, feed and tend to Roscoe again, get everything in order for dinner, play with Roscoe a little, put him down for an afternoon nap....... blah blah blah.  The list goes on.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying "staying at home with Roscoe is a drag and I wish we hadn't had him."  But I most definitely wasn't prepared for the utter mundane-ness of being at home the same way every day.  If there are no groceries to buy or if there's no convenient time for a walk in the park, then I don't even get to see anything interesting... like a traffic jam.  Yes, something most people find annoying would probably entertain me a little.

My head knows to look for the gospel in every situation, but sometimes it's hard for to me speak it to myself in the midst of my own situation.  It's as if (at least in my mind) motherhood is best represented by a coin.  There's the side with all the joys and excitement, but also the side that represents confinement.  You can't just pick one, it's all wrapped up in the same package.

I was talking to Beth about this the other day, telling her that it's something I haven't felt prepared for in being a mother.  And she told me you can't really prepare yourself for it.  It's just something you deal with when you get to it.  I'm sure that's like a lot of things in parenting.  Each stage brings its own joys and heartaches.  I guess that's all part of the excitement of the journey.

For now I'm going to try to look at the whole picture, and remember that this one season of my life isn't representative of the whole.

this just in: walnuts are illegal drugs

I had to pop on here very quickly to share a link to an article from a friend.  My motivation behind it is predominantly anger, because of the relationship between the FDA and the big pharmacy industry.  Since "big pharma" funds the FDA millions of dollars a year to keep them afloat (I've read figures at a minimum of 300 million), it's no wonder our food industry is so messed up, and consequently our health as Americans.  After all, if the FDA can put "heart healthy" on a box of 100-calorie Oreos, then after years and years of our eating all those partially hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup, we'll definitely be needing some medicines.

OR, we could opt for eating raw, natural foods, and be healthier for it.  But that's too difficult, isn't it?

Anyway, the link.  http://www.foodrenegade.com/did-know-walnuts-illegal-drugs/

Please take the time to read it, if nothing else than to just be more educated.  I'm not asking everyone to immediately stop shopping where they're shopping (even though that'd be great!), I at least want everyone to be more aware.  Maybe in the long run that awareness will lead to action.

Buy local foods, support local farms, grow your own garden, and don't just accept what you hear from the FDA as true.  Contrary to popular belief, they're not out to protect us.

on poop

I think about this blog often.  I enjoy writing, but honestly feel like my days are limited to thoughts on poop, spit, and the occasional nap.  When I'm not communicating with a baby, I'm usually cleaning the house, washing laundry, doing the cloth diaper thing, etc.

I don't really feel starved for community.  We've got some awesome friends, among whom are other mothers going through the same mundane thing every day.  I just desire to come up with something worth "musing" over.  But now I feel limited to just updating on Roscoe.  That's what my life is right now (not to be confused with "that's my identity."  Ah!!!  There's a post!).

So with that in mind, a little on poop:

Roscoe recently started eating solids.  And by solids, I mean solid. food.  Not smushed up, pureed, already chewed stuff.  He had been showing an interest in mine and Mark's food for about a week.  After a while I would give him something when he reached for it.  The confused look on his face when he realized that he wasn't receiving liquid in his mouth was priceless.  But he immediately took to it and has been enjoying eating with us.  It's not a religious thing yet, he still primarily breastfeeds.  But what he decides to eat in the way of solids is up to him.  It's fun to watch him discover foods, and healthy ones at that!!

But with the solid food comes the solid poop.  I've made a promise to myself to not take the breastmilk poop for granted with the next child (especially with the cloth diapering)!  Without going into too much description of this topic, let me just say it's a lot less hassle, and it doesn't stink!  But this morning alone, I've already changed 3 diapers.  Of those 3 diapers, 3 of them have consisted of poop.  Stinky, brick-like poop.  Life would be a lot easier if I had more than 10 cloth diapers.  Currently taking donations for the cloth diaper fund.

6 months

Sorry it's a day late....

Roscoe is now 6 months old!  Something about this month is extra celebratory for me, just because it's half a year.  Double the time that he has been breathing our oxygen and he'll be 1 year old.  Little buddy getting so big....

What's he up to?
- finger chewing, gnawing on anything he can get his hands on
- increased fascination with the dogs (which sherman LOVES)
- rolling over like crazy, scootching around (so much so that it doesn't matter how you lay him down to sleep anymore.  He moves as soon as your hands are off of him)... but not yet crawling
- becoming more interested in whatever we're doing (he loves watching me cook, watering the garden and flower beds with Mark...)
- growing even taller.  I already had to bump up the height of the exersaucer for him.  He was only in the shortest setting for a couple weeks
- playful.  Just very excitedly count "One..... Two!........ THREE!!......." and he'll break out into a smile before you even toss him into the air.  He loves that number 3!
- reaching for people, with big open wide-stretched arms
- becoming very interested in what we eat.  The other night we sat him at the table with us and gave him a slice of potato to gnaw on.  He loved it, but didn't really ingest much.  He'll get the hang of it soon enough, on his time.
- loves books





Eliot and Roscoe (10 months apart)

goofy face



start 'em young!

this was at 5 months old, i just couldn't resist adding it

is he strong because i moved the woodstove while pregnant?

In case you never read about that, find it here.

One of the first things that shocked us about Roscoe was when he was 12 days old.  He was mad, screaming and pitching a fit in Mark's arms.  Mark was sitting in the recliner trying to hold Roscoe to his chest to calm him down and Roscoe stiffened up and stood up on Mark.  Arms straight out pushing away from Mark, legs strong, standing.  That lasted a good 5-8 seconds... At 12 days old.  We were amazed.

Roscoe has always shown unusual strength for his age, especially when it comes to his leg muscles.  Sometimes, he just isn't happy sitting or lying down, but wrap his hands around your fingers so he can pull himself up to stand, and the smile erupts.

This week he has shown a fascination with the blanket on the back of our couch.  It's an afghan a friend made for us as a wedding gift.  Roscoe loves weaving his fingers through the yarn and attempting to eat it.  He was practically climbing the couch trying to get to the top day before yesterday, but of course that was with assistance.

Today, however, he scooted down the couch away from me, so I let him go.  And he gave me a good 30 seconds to a minute to try to capture this picture with my phone (it's the only camera I had near me).

Keep in mind that Roscoe is now 5 1/2 months old.  If you feel led to say a prayer for me, I wouldn't mind.  Time to put my seat belt on....things are about to get interesting.

time for change

This post is dedicated to all of you who join me in being critics of pretty much everything.  I hope you get to eat your words as well.

Before being a mom, I had always said that I didn't understand why new parents felt the need to have the baby in a bassinet in the bedroom.  I knew the practicality of just going to the end of the bed to get the baby for nighttime feedings (instead of having to go to a different room), but honestly, could it have made that much of a difference?

Before Roscoe was born, my sister-in-law offered to let me use the bassinet her dad built for her children.  I was going to turn it down because my cynical self figured Roscoe would start out in his bedroom.  Mark convinced me to take her up on the offer for the sake of convenience.

Well....long story short, Mark had asked me at the beginning of the summer when I was planning on moving Roscoe to his bedroom.  My response: "After you take your last trip in July."  That was an easy way to postpone moving him, right?  I enjoyed knowing Roscoe was in the room with me while his Mark was out of town for those 9 weeks, and he couldn't blame me.

So..... Mark got back from that trip on Sunday.

Aaaaand...... The little guy's still in our room.  I'm still not ready for him to sleep across the hall at night.

Sheesh.

Any moms out there sympathize with me?  Why is this of all things a difficult transition to make?

can it really be 5 months?

It's hard to believe this post is about the little guy being 5 months old today.  2 months?  I could believe that.... But 5?!

So what's Roscoe up to at 5 months? 
-He's a mover.  Almost non stop motion.  High metabolism like his dad?  Most likely.  Consequently, he's a long a lean dude.
-He takes *maybe* 2 good naps a day in his crib.  If we're lucky.  If not, he takes multiple 20-30 minute catnaps.
-He loves sucking his finger and thumb together.  He uses his thumb to push his finger up a little and sucks both of those simultaneously, eliminating our need for pacifiers (thanks, bub!)
-He eats still exclusively breast milk.  He's not showing any desire for anything else and I see no need to force it on him just because of his age.  That time will come, and we're both enjoying nursing (not to mention the fact that it's so incredibly good for him).
-He loves, loves, loves his daddy!  Mark will often get double the smiles and giggles and squeals that I do from Roscoe.  I love watching the 2 of them together.
-He can now roll over, all the way around.  Yesterday he started out lying on his back and ended up on his tummy and back to his back again, all on his own (as much as I wanted to assist the process to make it go faster, I kept my hands off him and let him figure it out all his own--waaay easier said than done for me).
-He reaches and grabs for anything within reach.
-He sleeps great at night, except for the occasional growth spurt that requires an extra nighttime feeding.
-He still sleeps in a cradle at the end of our bed (at night).  He's quickly outgrowing it.  I'm not looking forward to moving him out.  There may be a few tears shed over that one from this mama.
-He rocks the cloth diapers (way to be green, son!) (oh, just to keep anyone from assuming we have no choice in the matter, we love cloth diapering.  Seriously.  I hate when it isn't convenient and we use disposables.)

I've got a ton of catch-up to do with pictures.  Here goes


sherman is great with roscoe






so sweet.  i love watching him sleep





grampa and roscoe

I hate that the next 2 pictures are blurry, but I had brought the camera out of the air conditioning to the hot, humid lake and the lens got foggy.  I did the best I could with them.


Really, mom?



oh, this isn't so bad after all



Roscoe had a diaper blow out right before this, messing up the onesie



father's day, a birthday, and a baby dedication



RAWR!!! I'm monster baby, and I'm gonna eat eeyore



he had just rolled over and was quite proud of himself



oh my, i love this boy, drool and all.... happy 5 months, little love