taking a pay cut

One of the most popular questions people ask me since I've had Roscoe is "Are you going back to work?"  I'm just going to jump right in and answer, rather than try to keep you in suspense.

No.

That wasn't the plan originally.  In fact, I was excited to go back.  We had decided that even if we didn't need the income, I'd still go back to work and we'd save the money for emergencies, home repairs, a college fund for Roscoe, etc...  But that changed.

A few weeks ago we were chatting with friends around a firepit.  I won't go into all the details, but the conversation turned towards women working vs. not working.  Let me say now that neither Mark nor I hold the belief that a woman's "place is in the home" exclusively.  But as the conversation progressed, I was inferring from Mark's comments that he was sad to see my maternity leave coming to an end.  So far in our marriage, I've been working 40 hours a week ranging anywhere from 5 am to 11 pm.  That's 7 days a week.  But for the past 11 weeks, I've been home.  And it's been wonderful.  I can actually focus on making home an exciting place for Mark to come home to.  I can cook dinner every night.  If Mark isn't working, we're together as a family.  Even something as simple as doing laundry is so much easier now that I'm not having to do it around a full-time job.

I guess it all boils down to priorities.  As much as I loved my job (I was at Starbucks for 4.5 years) and the people it put me in contact with, slinging coffee isn't as important as family.

I look at this as a new chapter in my life, relinquishing my grip (just a little bit more) on independence and embracing my role as a wife and mother.  After all, just look at them......  Why wouldn't I be excited about the opportunity to spend so much time with my favorite men?!

(by the way, Mark's not mad, the sun was just in his eyes) (but even if it weren't, he wouldn't be smiling for the camera anyway...........so I don't care)

those thoughts on community

Every Sunday night as I sit around a firepit with friends I get this overwhelming feeling that I need to blog on the importance of community and what it means to me personally.  But now I've let too many days go by and those warm, fuzzy feelings are more difficult to put into words.  Actually, my lack of words is probably due to the fact that I've had another one of those battle days with Roscoe.  He has slept for 35 minutes today.  That was one nap.  The rest was spent either eating, playing, or (the majority of it) crying.  Exhausting. 

Anyway, I'm not posting to complain, so here's a quote that is referenced every now and then at church.  It's the quote that pretty much sums up how I came to break down the walls to my heart and realize the importance of transparency with others.

"We are not hurt alone, and we will not heal alone.  Yes, God is individually transforming our hearts, but not in isolation.  We are like stones that are part of a wall (1 Peter 2:5), organs that are part of a body (1 Corinthians 12:12), or members who are part of a family  (Romans 8:15-17).  Our sin contaminates others, and our change helps to heal others.  We need the humility that is fostered in group transparency in order to receive the energy (grace- James 4:6) to continue changing.  Even the person who seems to have it all together needs the trouble of those who don't, so he is not living his life in a self-absorbed delusion.  As someone has said, the disturbed need the comfortable, and the comfortable need the disturbed."